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    ADAM SANDLER

    Shhh...Don't Tell 2004 ©

    The Mule Session

    My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian
    My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean
    My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose
    And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's pantyhose, yeah
    I just lost my job to a God damn robot (Good times!)
    Then my dog got in the freeze box, he ate everything I got

    But I've got my mule
    He's a very, very nice mule
    He walks with me home from school
    Cause he's a very, very nice mule

    When he was a baby my mother fed him gruel
    But now he prefers to dine on his own stool
    He always philosophizes with the rabbis after shul
    Cause he's a very, very pious mule

    When he sees a picture of a carrot he has a tendency to druel
    On Halloween he tries to scare me by dressing up as a ghoul
    He once challenged someone who stole my hat to a duel
    Cause he's a very, very Old school mule

    A needle-nosed plier is his favorite tool
    He lifeguards on a volunteer basis and the Rec. Center pool
    When I break down on the side of the road he shows up with unleaded fuel
    He's a devoted fan of Ms. Paula Abdul

    And also approves of the recent makeover of former folkie Jewel

    When I told him Halle Berry's husband cheated he just shook his head and said to himself 'what a fool'
    Cause he's a very, very monogamous mule

    Porkchop! Wake up, man, the session's not over!

    After several well-publicized arrests for public urination he now drinks exclusively O'Doul
    And every year he puts on a presentation at the Boys Club to show kids smoking isn't cool
    His favorite Elvis song is 'Don't be Cruel', no it's 'Hound Dog'
    I was just kidding you

    2004 ©


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