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    ASHER ROTH

    Asleep In The Bread Aisle 2009 ©

    Bad Day

    And it just keeps going
    And it just keeps..

    So I'm in the airport getting ready to leave heading to a friends wedding in the NYC
    But my head has been spinning I'm forgetting to eat, all this jet setting has really been getting to me.
    It's already 11:20 and I'm ready to sleep but instead I end up sitting in the 27th seat,
    An isle seat, fine by me but the guy that's insides always trying to pee.
    With a wild child behind that's crying and keeps flipping out and kicking at me while it violently screams
    So I silently plead "Oh God, please let there be a hunny sitting 27B" but of course a morbidly obese beast
    Is in the seat that weeses when it breathes dude sitting D is at least three deep and he keeps telling me what is wrong with his knees
    Alls good slaughter, just need water but for a bottle they charge two dollars and when I thought that it couldn't be worse, I forgot my iPod.

    I'm having a bad day, nothing ever seems to go my way.
    Everybody needs to go away, why because I'm having a bad day.

    And it just keeps going
    And it just keeps...

    So four hours of turbulence, we land when I'm about to turd my pants, but the captain is seat belt fastened.
    So my ass is just passin gas and at last I escape when I'm minutes away from clinically insane.
    I make my way towards baggage claim when I hear a high pitched voice scream my name. (Asher!)
    Some dumb B****, I went to high school with. While shes sweating shes telling me she likes my shit
    I just smile and think how great it would be if I could just hit this chick with a quick leg sweep. (leg sweep)
    So I pick up my LL Bean and b line for the next taxi.
    In need of weed and boxer briefs but my bags only got maxis.

    I'm having a bad day, nothing ever seems to go my way.
    Everybody needs to go away, why because I'm having a bad day.

    And it just keeps going
    And it just keeps...

    I check into my hotel room and I pick up my cell phone to dial the groom
    Tell him my mood and how im ordering food and I'm probably gonna stay in and watch a movie
    But the tube has no HBO so anything I want yo I'm paying for but I'm lame and broke so I'm laying in a robe
    Watching that Little People Big World show right then there's a knock at the door, it's my last hope for a Spanish whore
    Who will change my sheets in exchange for penis "Hi, I've lost my cock, have you seen it?"

    Jesus, this day is the worst, at least I can give me a little jerk and then go to sleep healthy and diseaseless I guess it could be worse but I'm just

    Having a bad day, nothing ever seems to go my way.
    Everybody needs to go away, why because I'm having a bad day.

    And it just keeps going
    And it just keeps...

    2009 ©




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